A Balanced Life: April 2009

When asked, how old you are you answer 35-39.

Your idea of a great b-day is to run your age in miles with a couple of friends.

Your idea of e great date is to go for a 10 mile run with your date.

You try to impress girls with your marathon time after swimming 2.4 miles and biking 112 miles.

When asked how long your training was today you answer: three to four hours.

Your training is more limited by available time then how far you can run.

Your first thought when you wake up is how high your rest HR is.

You go for a run event hough there's a thunderstorm and you enjoy being wet and dirty.

You think an Ironman is easier then a Marathon because you don't have to start by running fast.

You think it's natural to do your 'business' behind a tree in the woods.

Nobody believes you when you say 'Never again'.

You take part in the corporate challenge to improve your base speed.

You go for a 5 km cooldown run after a 5 km race just so that you can call it a training session.

You consider work, regeneration time between training sessions.

Your co-workers don't ask you if you're going to train this weekend, but how long and how far.

You have a water bottle when you drive your car.

You spend your 2 weeks annual vacation at a training camp.

During the vacations, when everybody else is partying, you go to sleep at 10:00 pm because you're going for a long ride the next day.

You know inside out how much Protein each energy bar has.

You seriously consider applying for citizenship in Tonga, Jemen or Tschad so that you can participate in the Olympic games.

When people praising you for being able to run 15 miles you're feeling insulted.

In the summer your legs are smoother then your girlfriend's.

Your kids grab water bottles and energy bars when you suggest a family stroll.

Your wife is not worried if you left for your run 2 hours ago.

You need a picture for a job application and you only have race pictures.

You use running T-shirts to clean your bike.

You are up everyday by 5:00 am, but never in work before 9:30 am!

That charming "cologne" you wear to work is chlorine

You take more showers in a locker room than at home

6:30 am is sleeping in

The dog runs and hides when you get the leash!

You think there are only two seasons during the year, racing and off.

You can't change the oil in your car but you can completely rebuild your bike in 45 mins

You spend more $ on training and racing clothes then work clothes

You spend 7 days going to 8 stores in 4 malls before buying a pair of running shoes but you take 1 afternoon to go to 1 car dealership and walk out with a new car 4 hours later.

When you see some lady watering her flowers and ask her if you can borrow the hose for a minute so you can fill up your water bottles.

You clean your bike more often than your car

Your car smells like a locker room.

You tell your co-workers that you are going to "do a long brick" on Saturday and just expect that they know what you are talking about.

When a co-worker asks if you are racing this weekend, you say "yeah, but I'm just running a 10K, so that is not REALLY a race".

You have more water bottles than glasses in your cupboard

You consider you bike saddle your "couch"

You consider Power Bars as one of the four food groups

You are sick to your stomach at 2:00 in the morning and check the back of the Pepto Bismol bottle for caloric content and grams of carbohydrates, fat and protein.

You have plenty of water bottles, safety pins, and t-shirts.

You have trouble keeping lunch under 2000 calories.

You usually wake up at 4:00 in the morning but do not get to work until way after 9:00.

Your bed-time reading on your night stand consists of a pile of: DeSoto catalogs; InsideTri; Triathlete, VeloNews, USMA Swim, etc.

You haven't bought work clothes in two years, yet you own bike shorts made by every manufacturer under the sun and can recite the merits of CoolMax, Supplex, etc. in your sleep!

Your car has at least one Power Bar wrapper and two sets of work out clothes!

Your laundry continually smells like someone locked the cat in overnight...

You wave at other cyclists, because all triathletes are friendly and if they are not, they are probably purist cyclists trying to get into triathlons and they do not know that triathletes are friendly.

You can't decide what tee shirt to wear to your next race.

You no longer take vacations but weekend triathlon junkets.

You have far more pairs of shoes in your closet than your non-tri wife does in hers

You're tempted to do your long rides in a speedo so that you don't have a stupid tan for your next race.

Your bath towel is never dry.

You bring bottled water to a party so that you're properly hydrated for the next morning's long run.

Your company announces mandatory unpaid shutdown days - every other Friday throughout the summer - in order to cut costs and stay in business, and your response is "Great - now I can do two long workouts on the weekends and still have an easy day."

Somebody hands you a cup of water and you have to restrain yourself from pouring it on your head.

You forget that talking about daily LSD [Long Slow Distance] and speed weirds some people out.

You have no FRIGGIN idea what to do with yourself on your off day. Damnit, I mowed the lawn, cleaned the house, washed the car, and there's STILL 4 hours of daylight left! Aarrgghh!

You return from your *Mini-vacation* more exhausted than before you left!

You feel like you took the day off because all you did was swim 3000 yards.

You get done with a hard workout and drink a recovery drink while on the toilet and in the shower.

At any given moment you know exactly where your heart rate monitor and your swim goggles are, but cannot remember where you left you car keys. (turns 90% of the time they are in your bike bag

When non-racer friends tell you they ran/rode you automatically calculate their pace to see if you're still in better shape.

Cars pass you on the road when you're driving and you either drop back to get out of draft zone or speed up to attack!

Happy 40th birthday to Mike "Daffy" Steinberg.

Earlier this week Daffy took a few moments out from his busy pet care business to answer a few questions.

My earliest memory is...being in trouble for locking my parents in the bathroom. Though I still claim it wasn’t me

At school I was...a little naughty cheeky lazy shit!

My first relationship was...with a real life woman?? Well I would say.... My first relationship was..... Short!

My most treasured possessions are... (tricky question kb) .... My New York Marathon Medal....My Dog.... My Giant TT

In the movie of my life I'd be played by... Jean Reno or perhaps Chevy Chase.

My most humiliating moment was...there are too many to pick just one... How about telling my mate about this real slapper we knew... Only to discover it was his sister?

What I don't find amusing...people who toss cigarette butts, my credit card bill

I'm always being asked...What are you staring at...

I'm very bad at...

Understanding women... Or should I say my Exs
Thinking before I speak
Riding up hills
Running
Doing things I really don’t want to do

If I wasn't me I'd like to be...Ernie Els or Lance Armstrong (with the missing bit)

I often wonder...Does god exist, What would I be if I had done my homework, Why did I say that?, “Was that my fault?... Again”